Marriage Monday: Get Away From It All

No, your eyes are not playing a trick on you, it’s true, we are posting a Monday Marriage post!  Last time we talked about how it’s important to make time for you and your spouse with weekly or monthly (Hopefully) date nights.  Today we are going to take the idea even further and discuss overnight getaways!

When was the last time you and your spouse had a night away without children, work, stress?  Do you make getting away for an overnight a priority?  Perhaps you’ve never been away from your children?  We know it can be hard to find childcare, money and time to do this!  Some of you out there are really lucky, you have the grandparents that call and ask to take your kiddos for the weekend, which is awesome.  Others (like ourselves) don’t live close enough to family or grandparents for this to be a possibility.  Then there are some of you who seem have not ever been away from your children for the night.  Every marriage and family does things in their own way and we are not here to criticize or judge any of you.  We are here to encourage you to make time even just one night a year with your spouse.   Leaving your house is so helpful, you won’t be distracted by the piles of dishes or dirty laundry, you won’t decide to finish up that project from months ago or clean under the fridge.  By going somewhere like a Bed & Breakfast, hotel or even a cabin in the woods, you have a chance to focus on each other (and when she says “focus”, you know what that means!!).   You don’t even have to leave town if you aren’t comfortable traveling away from your children, it’s always fun to be a visitor in your hometown and check out all those places you’ve wanted to go but just never seem to have the time for.   When planning your getaway, take along a notepad (maybe buy a special notepad) and some pens so you can talk about your 1, 3, 5 and /or 10 year goals.   These don’t have to be set in stone goals, just some dreams, plans and thoughts for your family, your children, your careers, your marriage and even your spiritual growth.  Have fun with this planning and dreaming, write down the crazy stuff, you never know what could happen in ten years and one day you will enjoy looking back at these goals and dreams together!  

 I echo what Ange said above, getaways are a chance to get away from it all and have lots of sex good conversation with one another that otherwise you might not take the opportunity to do by staying home.  While you have these conversations, it’s helpful to be naked in a place where you can focus on each other and not on other distractions, so we would recommend doing this in the privacy of your hotel room in a small quiet restaurant or just even sitting on a swing or taking a nice stroll.  It might be helpful to have these escapades conversations several times over the course of your getaway so you have different opportunities to discuss different ideas, maybe let each of you take turns on top sharing for a while and opening up.  Sorry, when I think of getaways, the mind just goes in that direction, can’t help it.  For that matter, we could be just talking about salad dressing or botanical gardens and my mind will just go there, it’s just how I’m wired!  

In all seriousness, ladies be prepared that if you start to dream a little over the course of your getaway that your man may dream bigger than you are prepared for at times.  I can speak from experience that guys often just like to have big dreams, it’s just part of how God wired us, that we’re always looking for the next big thing.  But when your guy does this, just listen and affirm as best as you can.  Most often, your guy isn’t going to do half of the crazy things he may dream up, but he can be incredibly energized to just have you listen to his dreams and not try to squash them.

And I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to get away from it all, just think of it like another honeymoon.  Most likely you started out your marriage that way, then you need these mini honeymoons along the way to help you remember.  If money or someone to watch the kids is an issue, maybe see if you can arrange something with some close friends, take turns getting away for a weekend while your friends watch the kids and then swap the next weekend.  It will do wonders for both marriages!  Ange and I have done that with some friends of ours and it worked out wonderfully!

Well you can obviously see why  my husband enjoys our getaways.      Seriously though, we do want to encourage you to get away and take some time for your marriage.  

Next week we will be back to talk about our experience with divorce (in our family) and why we feel so strongly about strengthening and helping marriages.   Have you had a chance to getaway this past year?  Tell us, how long has it been since you had a night away together!